Good luck, goodbye, Bobby Jean

I’ve tried to write this article a few times, but I can’t really work out how to start it. I also really don’t have the spoons to write this whole story out again, so I am going to copy and paste the whole thing from elsewhere. So some of you might have already read it.

Emil and I have called it off after 2 years and 10 months. He was visiting Melbourne this week to attend a demoscene party (which I refer to as NerdFest) so we at least call it quits in person. Here is how it happened:

Friday, 16 November 2012 at 4:52:00 PM

He has told me that he’s met someone else. A girl he works with. She likes him and he likes her back.

I am still going to see him tomorrow.

But I guess I will come back from seeing him, with him not my Second Boyfriend anymore.

My heart hurts.

Sandy, the aurora is rising behind us
This pier lights our carnival life forever
Oh love me tonight and I promise I’ll love you forever

Thanks, Boss.

Continue reading

The Good Men in my life

I have, at different times in my life, been accused of being a “man-hating feminist”. It’s almost a rite of passage for woman feminists to be accused of hating men – once you’ve been accused of hating men, that’s it, there’s no going back, you’re a real feminist now (along with being called humourless, frigid, a slut, a frigid slut (what?), and being told to pipe down and get back into the kitchen). Anyone who actually knows me knows I definitely do not hate men. In fact, I don’t know ANY self-identified feminist who hates men. I love men, and I hate the patriarchy. Play the ball, not the man, as my Dad would say if he was watching football and if the patriarchy was a football game.

So I wanted to kind of refute the idea that I am a man hating feminist by telling you about the men that I love. This probably won’t change the minds of anyone who has firmly made up their mind that I hate men, but it will make me feel good.

I have been very lucky, throughout my life, to be surrounded by so many good men, men who have taught me things, men who I have taught things, men who have loved me and men I have loved in return. I am a feminist because of these men, because they allowed me to think for myself, and valued my education, and valued me as a person in my own right, and valued my opinions.

My Dad – the original Good Man.

My Dad is the first Good Man I ever knew, and he remains the benchmark for what a Good Man should be. My father was married at 29, had two children by 35 and was widowed at 43 with two daughters under 12. I am sure he thought he couldn’t do it, I am sure he despaired about how he would raise two girls without his wife by his side to guide his hand, but he never faltered. If he doubted himself, he never showed it, if he worried about how he would manage our uniquely feminine issues, he never let us see it.

He did, however, grieve for his wife and allowed my sister and I to express our grief about our mother whenever we wished. He never hid his sadness from us, but he always made sure that after we had a good big cry, we went and did something to occupy ourselves. We were never allowed to wallow.

He has a quiet strength of character – he isn’t given to fits of rage, but when suitably provoked can be FIERCE. He protects my sister and I, but never sheltered us. We were always allowed to figure things out for ourselves, and he is always there to catch us if things go wrong.

He has been my father for 29 years, and my mother for 17. He got me through my first period, my first boyfriend, and my first broken heart. He put my sister and I through private school on one income, and we wanted for NOTHING. He listens without judgement and his hugs make all the bad go away.

He taught me about rock and roll, and even though I fiercely resisted listening to “that oldies music” when I was a teenager, as I write this I am listening to Cold Chisel. We can sit together in a pub for an entire afternoon, drinking beers while he tells me about my grandparents and his youth, or come home and sit in my loungeroom and play records until well after dark.

He taught me what a Good Man acts like, and for that I will always be grateful.

My Dad’s friends Alan, Brian, Steve and Paul – my “uncles”.

Mum and Dad used to throw parties where all their friends would come to our house with their kids. These usually happened on warm Saturday afternoons and involved a couple of casks of Coolabah wine, a barbeque, and a few Esky’s full of beer. Us kids would eat sausages and chicken wings and play together, and our parents would sit at the big garden dining table and drink. After my mother died, these happened less frequently – the women and children stopped coming around as my Dad would put on more  male-oriented days – getting together to watch the Grand Prix, or the footy, or some other kind of sporting event that his friend’s wives weren’t interested in.

So there were A LOT of men around my house from the time I was 12 years old. I usually socialised with them, and helped Dad to prepare snacks before his friends arrived. I was interested in sports too, so I would hang around to watch with them. And if any of Dad’s friends were bothered by the presence of a 12 year old girl at their Bro Parties, they never showed it. Four men, in particular, stand out; Alan, Brian, Steve and Paul. Dad has known Alan ever since they were little kids. He has known Brian longer even than he has known me, and has known Steve and Paul since the mid-90’s.  I always, always felt safe around my Dad’s friends. They never mocked me, or made me feel uncomfortable, or talked over me, or laughed at me, and I particularly feel like Brian and Alan are the Uncle Jesse and the Uncle Joey to my Dad’s Danny Tanner.

In 2002, my Nanna died. Nanna was Dad’s mother, so he and my sister flew down from Brisbane to attend her funeral. When we arrived at the church, my Dad’s cousin Sandra grabbed me and told me I had to give a reading at the funeral. I was not expecting this, and so was pretty nervous. I spent most of the service reading over what I had to say, and then when it came to be my turn and I got up on the altar to read, I was feeling ill. I am not good at reading at funerals, even though I have read at almost every funeral I have ever been to. I started reading and my voice wobbled, so I looked out into the church to try to gather my thoughts. I spotted Brian, Steve and Paul in the congregation, and they smiled at me. I will never forget how safe and loved I felt in that moment, knowing that three of my Dad’s best friends were there to look after me, my sister, and him.

At my Pop’s funeral in 2007, I had the same experience; the unexpected duty to read. The presence of Alan in that congregation gave me an anchoring point. I have always felt loved and supported by my father’s friends. I have always felt like I could rely on them, if I ever needed their help. They never treated me like I was an inconvenient imposition, and they are all Good Men.

Peter – my best friend, my brother.

I was born nine days after Peter. Our childhood was spent up trees, tearing around our street on bikes, on the roof of his parents’ carport, and climbing anything that was fixed to the ground. We grew up together, by the time we were 14 we were too cool for riding bikes, but not too cool for avoiding doing homework by spending literally hours throwing our basketballs through the basketball hoop in my driveway. I could go on here for three or four paragraphs about how similar we are, but instead I am just going to borrow a song lyric from The Boss; “we liked the same music we liked the same bands we liked the same clothes”.

He is my longest, oldest, dearest friend. He stood with me at my mother’s funeral, and read a prayer for her. He attended my Pop’s funeral. He is always there when I need him, and I him. When he started dating the lady he is now about to marry, he invited me to come out to the pub with them and some of her friends so I could meet her. While she was at the bar, he took me aside and urgently asked me what I thought of her. Of course I told him I thought she was wonderful. He probably doesn’t remember this, but I will never forget it. (If you’re reading this, Peter, I still think she’s wonderful!).

Peter is always there for me, and I for him. I know that no matter where life takes us, or where we end up in the world, that if one of us ever needs the other, we will find a way to get to each other. He’s my brother.

Mark – my main man.

I met Mark in September of 2005. When we first started dating and I told him I was non-monogamous, I am sure he must have freaked out, but instead of totally losing his shit, he said “Ok, let’s see what happens”. Six months after we met, we moved in together, more out of necessity than out of any burning desire to live togther, or any feeling that it was the “right time”. Seven years on, he’s still here, and we have a home and two cats together. He brews beer and bakes bread and grows vegetables in our little plot of land. He understands me better than anyone on the planet, and tolerates my more unconventional behaviour. He is my greatest ally, and in the time I have known him, has learned so much about feminism and rape culture and intersectionality that I barely recognise him as the man I met 7 years ago.

We are similar enough that we enjoy the same music and movies and foods, but different enough that we don’t get bored. We have our little in-jokes and our pet names for each other (which I am not going to share here, because they’re ours), and we enjoy spending time together, but I have never felt like we are co-dependent. We value our time away from each other as much as we value our time together. I have never felt like he is possessive of me – he has never asked me a million questions about where I am going, who with, why, and what time I will be back. He values me as my own person, distinct from him.

Of course, I knew all this from the first time I met him, because we got to talking about Tori Amos and how much he liked her music. That is the litmus test. I have NEVER met a man who likes Tori Amos who has turned out to be a vile misogynist.

He has a huge big heart full of love, and I feel very lucky that he has chosen to share that love with me.

Emil – the unexpected surprise.

I didn’t plan to love Emil. It just happened, even though I fought it for months and months. I met him in a nightclub. I had lost all my friends somewhere in the building, and was happily dancing alone when the most beautiful man I have EVER seen came over to say hello to me. He was so beautiful that I could barely believe he was interested in me – and in some ways I still can’t. He is wealthy, and gorgeous, and European and has a very high-status job – so sometimes I definitely feel like I am batting above my average. But despite all that, he loves me. Not in the same way Mark loves me, but in his way. I am very fond of him, and he of me.

He does this adorable thing where when we’re laying in bed and talking and if I am laying on my side, he’ll lay on his side at a slightly askew angle to me and rest his head on my big soft belly and look up at me as I chat away at him while he traces outlines in my skin with his fingertips and I don’t even think he realises he’s doing it but it’s adorable and it makes me squee.

I feel sexy, and happy, and desirable and loved when he does that. It makes me feel like I am beautiful and powerful and worthy of love and admiration. When he rests his head on my body like that it feels like he is accepting me for exactly who I am and what I look like, it’s as if he is saying to me “your body is beautiful and comfortable and I am rejoicing in it and enjoying it”, and it feels like he is loving every single piece of me, exactly as I come to him.

Jason – my newest friend.

Then there is my friend Jason Coggins who I have only known for one year but who has become one of my dearest and most trusted friends. He is smarter than me in a lot of ways (many people are), but is always open to learning new things from people who know more than him. When I first met him, back in October last year, he immediately greeted me with a warm hug and a smile, and I immediately felt safe and at ease in his presence. That feeling has not changed. Jason challenges me, supports me and never makes me feel like my opinion is silly, or like I am being “hysterical” or “humourless” or “seeing problems where none exist”. I feel valued when I am around Jason, and he always listens to me. I appreciate that more than I can adequately express in this small space.

But lest he gets a big head if he reads this, I should point out that he IS English. Can’t win ‘em all!

These are the men in my life. The men who, since the day I was born right up until now, have enriched my life in many different ways and taught me things and allowed me to flourish. They have been my friends, my lovers, my protectors, and my providers. Each of them has, in his own big or small way, contributed to me becoming the person I am now. My life is infinitely better for knowing and loving these Good Men.

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart

Seventeen years ago today, my mother died. This was the song we played at her funeral.

6/8/95 YNWA

2011 – Year In Review

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Got robbed. Technically I didn’t do that, it got done to me, but it was something I’d never done before. I also studied nursing. That was pretty new too.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Yes. I resolved to not get pregnant and to love my boyfriends fiercely, and I did both those things.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Mark’s sister had a little girl in June!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not this year. We did good!

5. What countries did you visit?
Does Google Street View count?

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A job!

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
October 21st – the day Occupy Melbourne was forcibly and violently evicted from City Square. Despite the fact that I was not involved that day, aside from a short altercation with a member of the Police in the morning, I will NEVER forget how sick and worried I felt all day. I will never forget seeing my friends kettled in behind temporary fences. I will never forget coming back into town after school and seeing thousands of people being forced up Swanston Street, a line of police blocking them in. I will never forget the 12 hour bus ride I had to Sydney that night, on which I didn’t sleep a wink because I was so worried about my friends.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not getting arrested on October 21st after shouting at a police man.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I cracked a rib jumping onto Emil’s bed in Sydney. The fail part was that it happened two days after the Occupy Melbourne eviction, but didn’t happen AT the Occupy Melbourne eviction, so I couldn’t swap war stories with my comrades.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
See question nine. Who breaks a rib jumping onto a bed?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A new Wii to replace the one that was stolen in May.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mark’s. He is just a wonderful partner. He tolerates my unconventional behaviour and doesn’t try to force me to conform. He is honest and caring and supportive. He deserves to be celebrated every day!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and/or disgusted?
Robert Doyle. You made some terrible decisions and have never made any effort to meet with the people who those decisions affected.

14. Where did most of your money go?
I didn’t have any money this year. Not regularly, anyway. But every time I got a little bit of cash, I used it to go to Sydney. So….most of my money went to Qantas.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Dad’s 60th birthday in Brisbane in September. Going to Sydney to see Emil for the first time in February.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
U2 – Everlasting Love

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier, even though I didn’t think such a thing were possible. I was pretty happy last year.
ii. thinner or fatter? The same.
iii. richer or poorer? Definitely poorer. Gimme a job!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Emil? LOL. I wish I had read more books and written more of my novel.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
I wish I’d been less crazy. I think I really ratcheted up the crazy girl behaviour this year.

20. How will you/did you spend Christmas?
Christmas Eve: Present-swaps and drinks and snacks with Mark, my sister and her boyfriend.

Christmas Day: Epic hailstorm of epicness.

Boxing Day: Highpoint shopping centre sucked my will to live.

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
I did. I didn’t think I was going to, but I did, and it’s amazing.

23. How many one-night stands?
Er…two. Three?

24. What was your favorite TV program?
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I really hate the Lord Mayor.

26. What was the best book you read?
High Fidelity. It will always be the best book I have read. I love it more than any other book.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
City Calm Down.

28. What did you want and get?
A new laptop. Twice. Cause the first new one got stolen.

29. What did you want and not get?
Millions and millions of dollars.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Red Dog. Adorable!

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Just a quiet thing at home. Turned 28.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A fuckin’ job!

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Day: Lisa Loeb from the “Stay” video.
Night: Frocks and stilettos.

34. What kept you sane?
Mark. Fallout 3. Twinings Irish Breakfast tea. Pints of Coopers Pale Ale at the Quiet Man. Bruce Springsteen. Facebook. Occupy Melbourne.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Goran Visnjic. I could just lick him.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Occupy Melbourne. I went along on the first day and it sucked me in. It’s the revolution, baby!

37. Who did you miss?
Emil. More than words can say.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I just have to pick one? I met so many new people this year – I started school, got involved with Occupy Melbourne, and made MILLIONS of new friends. Amazing people, every single one of them!

39. Best drinking buddies for 2010:
Jenna, Mark, Dad and the rest of his side of the family, Sue, Emil.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Sometimes it seems that the going is just too rough
And things go wrong no matter what I do
Now and then it seems that life is just too much
But you’ve got the love I need to see me through.

– You’ve Got The Love, Florence + the Machine.

In love with this girl, and with her town as well

At 6.30 Friday morning, I swam in this pool. It’s on the rooftop of the hotel I stayed in with my Second Boyfriend. The far end of the pool is cantilevered over Flinders Lane and has a perspex bottom, so one can swim right to the end and peer down onto the street. It was quiet up there at 6.30. Dawn had broken but the sky was soft and grey, and I was on my own on the deck. Astroturf adorned the ground, deckchairs and yellow umbrellas were scattered around upon it. I could hear a few trams going up and down Swanston Street, and a few cars drove by below me, but the cranes at the building site across the road were silent, fixed. The neon sign on the KPMG building was still illuminated, and I wondered if anyone was at work yet. I swam languidly up and down as the sun slowly rose in the sky.<br /><br /><br />While it’s no secret how much I love my city, I fell in love with Melbourne all over again as I swam above her streets this morning.<br /><br /><br />And I think Melbourne might be feeling the same way.

At 6.30 Friday morning, I swam in this pool. It’s on the rooftop of the hotel I stayed in with my Second Boyfriend. The far end of the pool is cantilevered over Flinders Lane and has a perspex bottom, so one can swim right to the end and peer down onto the street. 

It was quiet up there at 6.30. Dawn had broken but the sky was soft and grey, and I was on my own on the deck. Astroturf adorned the ground, deckchairs and yellow umbrellas were scattered around upon it. I could hear a few trams going up and down Swanston Street, and a few cars drove by below me, but the cranes at the building site across the road were silent, fixed. The neon sign on the KPMG building was still illuminated, and I wondered if anyone was at work yet. I swam languidly up and down as the sun slowly rose in the sky.

While it’s no secret how much I love my city, I fell in love with Melbourne all over again as I swam above her streets this morning.

And I think Melbourne might be feeling the same way.

Mic Check! Mic Check!

rboiats:

Mic Check @ Melbourne GPO on 10.12.11 International Human Rights Day & Tent Monster March.

Erin speaks to bring an end to Rape culture!

Mic check! Mic check!
My name is Erin.
I’m from First Aid and Care.
I want to talk to you today about institutionalised misogyny and rape culture.
What happened to our sister Sara didn’t happen in a vacuum.
It is symptomatic of the sexism enshrined in our police, military and government.
It is symptomatic of the rape culture.
Rape culture is a culture in which violence against women is normalised, excused and tolerated, by media, attitudes and societal norms.
Rape culture hurts everyone.
It positions men as violent, insatiable creatures, existing only to pursue their basest desires.
And it positions women as prizes to be won.
It forgets entirely about our gay, lesbian, trans and queer friends.
We reject the rape culture.
And we can end it by calling out sexist jokes,
by complaining about advertising that diminishes women and men,
and by always approaching our fellow human beings with love, compassion and understanding.
And through this understanding, we can all find freedom.
Thankyou.

Here is the video of my mic check on Human Rights Day, December 10, 2011.

I didn’t get arrested on Friday, October 21

But I think that was due more to good fortune than anything else. I heard via Facebook at 6.45am on Friday that a large police presence had suddenly descended upon City Square.

My plan for Friday was always to drop by City Square in the morning. I was going to Sydney on the bus that evening, and so I was going to take all my things with me into town, drop by the Occupation, have a bite for breakfast, head to school, and then go back to the Occupation for dinner, before making my way to the bus at 6.30pm.

However, when I got the news about the police presence, I immediately gathered my things and rushed out the door. I am a member of the First Aid Working Group at Occupy Melbourne and I wanted to drop by to find out if my colleagues needed any help. I got off the tram at the intersection of Elizabeth and Collins Sts and walked up to Swanston St with my suitcase and tote bag. When I got there, there was already a large contingent of police, private security guards (dressed very similarly to the police) and bystanders were amassing. Temporary fences had been erected. It was 8am.

I approached the police cordon and asked if I could please get through. I explained that I am a member of the First Aid team, my friends were in there and I wanted to see them for ten minutes.

Mr Policeman said that unless I was willing to consent to a search of my suitcase and shoulder bag, I was unable to get through. I explained that I wasn’t willing to consent to such a search, and reiterated that I was a member of First Aid, and I wanted to go onto City Square for ten minutes to see my friends, and then I would be on my way. Mr Policeman repeated the search request and explained that if I tried to enter the site, I would be forcibly removed. I asked him on what grounds and he said on the grounds of non-compliance with a search request. I explained that I was pretty sure that I didn’t have to comply with a search request unless the officer had a warrant or reasonable suspicion that I was carrying something dangerous and that all I wanted to do was see my friends for ten minutes.

This got Mr Policeman pretty agitated so I made the decision to get out of there before him or one of his cohort grabbed me. I knew that once an officer had his or her hand on me that I’d be totally up the creek without a paddle, so I bailed double quick. Walking up Collins St, I stopped to Tweet at my friends inside City Square. The view from here was incredible. The police were encircling the entire area, fences were going up, and the private security guards were looming around looking in equal parts nervous, confused and ominious.

I wanted to take a few pictures with my phone but felt for all the world like I was being watched after my verbal sparring match with the policeman down the hill, so I decided against that. The last thing I wanted was to have my phone confiscated or smashed by overzealous soldiers of the state.

I walked up the hill to school.

Once there, the action started happening. I followed everything on Twitter all day and after school finished at 2.30pm I went back into the city. I was on my way to my sister’s office to get some money from her, then to my boyfriend’s office to meet him for dinner. They were both on Bourke St, so the plan was to come down Collins St and then walk along Swanston to Bourke, in order to see if my first aid crew were outside the Town Hall with the protest group and to see if I could offer any assistance.

When I got to the corner of Collins and Swanston Sts at 3pm, I could see that the protest group (now much larger than it had been when I passed by at 8am), was located in front of the Town Hall and Swanston St on that side was cordoned off by a human wall of police officers. They were standing shoulder to shoulder. Swanston St on the other side of the intersection was closed off by police tape, but traffic was freely moving up and down Collins St. City Square was closed off by temporary fencing, guarded by police from the dog squad, as well as the suspiciously dressed private security guards of the morning. I could see mounted police in the crowd in front of the Town Hall and there was lots of confused yelling, both from people trapped within the crowd, and the passers by without.

I didn’t approach the police cordon this time. I had seen enough on Twitter and Youtube throughout the day to know that the whole situation was an absolute powder-keg, and I didn’t want to even look at a police officer the wrong way for fear of setting them off. I crossed Swanston St and walked down Collins St, towards my sister’s office.

So. I didn’t get arrested on Friday, October 21. Had the circumstances been different, had I not had my suitcase with me, I would have stayed at City Square. I would have ended up in the group outside the Town Hall. I would have been there helping Jason treat a girl with a broken knee when the police wouldn’t let ambulances through. I would have been helping to wash people’s eyes out after the deployment of pepper spray.

I am disgusted with the actions of Victoria Police, the Melbourne City Council and the State Goverment of Victoria. I am disgusted by the number of officers of the law who came down upon the people of Melbourne today without their name and designation badges on.  I am disgusted that the riot squad was sent into disperse a group of 100 people who were running a free community kitchen and first aid service. I am disgusted with the Lord Mayor’s dismissal of all of us as a “self-righteous, narcissistic rabble”, and with the police who charged their horses into the crowd. I am disgusted that 13 out of 17 truckloads of people’s personal belongings such as computers, cameras and tents and Occupy Melbourne donated items such as food, books, first aid equipment, marquees, tents and clothing were immediately compacted on site on Friday. So much was wasted.

I am, however, immensely proud to be associated with the Occupy Melbourne movement. Each and every one of those people has conducted themselves with the utmost of class. Not one single report of violence committed by a member of our movement has been found. Our people resisted peacefully, and not a single punch, projectile or molecule of flammable or irritant liquid was thrown by any of the Occupiers. Two police, apparently, got injured by capsicum spray, something that wouldn’t have happened if they’d not deployed it into a crowd on a windy day.

As of yesterday, Monday October 24, City Square remained fenced off and guarded by police from the dog squad and private security guards. So much for “returning City Square to the people of Melbourne”, Mr Doyle.

Quiz-like thing

1. Picture of yourself?

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?
Non-monogamous – Polyandrous. That means “many men”.

3. Have you ever been dumped?
No. I have always been the dumper.

4. What do you most like about making out?
Oh, I love it. It’s *awesome*.

5. Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?
Yes.

6. When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?
Yes.

7. What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?
Depends on the person. I like a lower belly area on a boy with a nice figure. I like hands and shoulders too.

8. Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?
Mark, bless him.

9. Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?
Yes.

11. Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?
Yes.

12. What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?
Retro homewares, and owl ornaments.

13. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?
Oh god no.

14. Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?
No.

15. Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?
I tell the person I have a crush on. And probably a few of my friends.

16. Do you miss your last sweetie?
No. I definitely traded up when I dumped him.

17. Last time you slow danced with someone?
Can’t remember when but it was definitely with one of the boys, probably to a Bruce Springsteen song.

18. Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?
What?

19. How can I win your heart?
By going down on me.

20. What is your astrological sign?
Libra.

21. What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
Tossing and turning in bed. I slept in the early evening and so that kind of screwed up the rest.

22. Do you cook?
Yes. It’s very enjoyable.

23. Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?
No. I did once have a fling with a boy I’d made friends with when I was 12, after not having seen him for 14 years.

24. If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?
No. I am happy with the way things are right now.

25. Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?
I prefer long term non-monogamy.

26. What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?
Soft skin, dark hair, tall, skinny, pretty. PRETTY!

27. Name four things that you wish you had:
Money.
A job.
Flat shoes.
Money.

28. Are you a player?
Possibly.

29. Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?
Yes. Should I admit here that I’ve also had sex with two people in one day?

30. Are you a tease?
No.

31. Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?
No.

32. Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?
Yes. It’s beautiful.

33. Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?
Is Hugh Jackman on Tumblr?

34. Hugs or Kisses?
Only from the people I am dating.

35. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
No.

36. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Height, prettiness level.

37. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?
Yes. But only when it’s one of my boyfriends.

38. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?
Only if their relationship was an open one. Hello ethics!

39. Do you flirt a lot?
Yes. I flirt with everyone.

40. Your last kiss?
Sometime today.

41. Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2011?
I have kissed exactly 5.

42. Have you kissed anyone in the past month?
Yes.

43. If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
One of my boyfriends, or Hugh Jackman. YUM.

44. Do you know who you’ll kiss next?
Yes.

45. Does someone like you currently?
Oh yes.

46. Do you currently have feelings for anyone?
Yes. More feelings than my heart can stand!

47. Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
Both. Preferably at the same time.

48. Ever made out with just a friend?
Yes.

49. Are you happier single or in a relationship?
Yes to both.