Good luck, goodbye, Bobby Jean

I’ve tried to write this article a few times, but I can’t really work out how to start it. I also really don’t have the spoons to write this whole story out again, so I am going to copy and paste the whole thing from elsewhere. So some of you might have already read it.

Emil and I have called it off after 2 years and 10 months. He was visiting Melbourne this week to attend a demoscene party (which I refer to as NerdFest) so we at least call it quits in person. Here is how it happened:

Friday, 16 November 2012 at 4:52:00 PM

He has told me that he’s met someone else. A girl he works with. She likes him and he likes her back.

I am still going to see him tomorrow.

But I guess I will come back from seeing him, with him not my Second Boyfriend anymore.

My heart hurts.

Sandy, the aurora is rising behind us
This pier lights our carnival life forever
Oh love me tonight and I promise I’ll love you forever

Thanks, Boss.

Continue reading

The Good Men in my life

I have, at different times in my life, been accused of being a “man-hating feminist”. It’s almost a rite of passage for woman feminists to be accused of hating men – once you’ve been accused of hating men, that’s it, there’s no going back, you’re a real feminist now (along with being called humourless, frigid, a slut, a frigid slut (what?), and being told to pipe down and get back into the kitchen). Anyone who actually knows me knows I definitely do not hate men. In fact, I don’t know ANY self-identified feminist who hates men. I love men, and I hate the patriarchy. Play the ball, not the man, as my Dad would say if he was watching football and if the patriarchy was a football game.

So I wanted to kind of refute the idea that I am a man hating feminist by telling you about the men that I love. This probably won’t change the minds of anyone who has firmly made up their mind that I hate men, but it will make me feel good.

I have been very lucky, throughout my life, to be surrounded by so many good men, men who have taught me things, men who I have taught things, men who have loved me and men I have loved in return. I am a feminist because of these men, because they allowed me to think for myself, and valued my education, and valued me as a person in my own right, and valued my opinions.

My Dad – the original Good Man.

My Dad is the first Good Man I ever knew, and he remains the benchmark for what a Good Man should be. My father was married at 29, had two children by 35 and was widowed at 43 with two daughters under 12. I am sure he thought he couldn’t do it, I am sure he despaired about how he would raise two girls without his wife by his side to guide his hand, but he never faltered. If he doubted himself, he never showed it, if he worried about how he would manage our uniquely feminine issues, he never let us see it.

He did, however, grieve for his wife and allowed my sister and I to express our grief about our mother whenever we wished. He never hid his sadness from us, but he always made sure that after we had a good big cry, we went and did something to occupy ourselves. We were never allowed to wallow.

He has a quiet strength of character – he isn’t given to fits of rage, but when suitably provoked can be FIERCE. He protects my sister and I, but never sheltered us. We were always allowed to figure things out for ourselves, and he is always there to catch us if things go wrong.

He has been my father for 29 years, and my mother for 17. He got me through my first period, my first boyfriend, and my first broken heart. He put my sister and I through private school on one income, and we wanted for NOTHING. He listens without judgement and his hugs make all the bad go away.

He taught me about rock and roll, and even though I fiercely resisted listening to “that oldies music” when I was a teenager, as I write this I am listening to Cold Chisel. We can sit together in a pub for an entire afternoon, drinking beers while he tells me about my grandparents and his youth, or come home and sit in my loungeroom and play records until well after dark.

He taught me what a Good Man acts like, and for that I will always be grateful.

My Dad’s friends Alan, Brian, Steve and Paul – my “uncles”.

Mum and Dad used to throw parties where all their friends would come to our house with their kids. These usually happened on warm Saturday afternoons and involved a couple of casks of Coolabah wine, a barbeque, and a few Esky’s full of beer. Us kids would eat sausages and chicken wings and play together, and our parents would sit at the big garden dining table and drink. After my mother died, these happened less frequently – the women and children stopped coming around as my Dad would put on more  male-oriented days – getting together to watch the Grand Prix, or the footy, or some other kind of sporting event that his friend’s wives weren’t interested in.

So there were A LOT of men around my house from the time I was 12 years old. I usually socialised with them, and helped Dad to prepare snacks before his friends arrived. I was interested in sports too, so I would hang around to watch with them. And if any of Dad’s friends were bothered by the presence of a 12 year old girl at their Bro Parties, they never showed it. Four men, in particular, stand out; Alan, Brian, Steve and Paul. Dad has known Alan ever since they were little kids. He has known Brian longer even than he has known me, and has known Steve and Paul since the mid-90’s.  I always, always felt safe around my Dad’s friends. They never mocked me, or made me feel uncomfortable, or talked over me, or laughed at me, and I particularly feel like Brian and Alan are the Uncle Jesse and the Uncle Joey to my Dad’s Danny Tanner.

In 2002, my Nanna died. Nanna was Dad’s mother, so he and my sister flew down from Brisbane to attend her funeral. When we arrived at the church, my Dad’s cousin Sandra grabbed me and told me I had to give a reading at the funeral. I was not expecting this, and so was pretty nervous. I spent most of the service reading over what I had to say, and then when it came to be my turn and I got up on the altar to read, I was feeling ill. I am not good at reading at funerals, even though I have read at almost every funeral I have ever been to. I started reading and my voice wobbled, so I looked out into the church to try to gather my thoughts. I spotted Brian, Steve and Paul in the congregation, and they smiled at me. I will never forget how safe and loved I felt in that moment, knowing that three of my Dad’s best friends were there to look after me, my sister, and him.

At my Pop’s funeral in 2007, I had the same experience; the unexpected duty to read. The presence of Alan in that congregation gave me an anchoring point. I have always felt loved and supported by my father’s friends. I have always felt like I could rely on them, if I ever needed their help. They never treated me like I was an inconvenient imposition, and they are all Good Men.

Peter – my best friend, my brother.

I was born nine days after Peter. Our childhood was spent up trees, tearing around our street on bikes, on the roof of his parents’ carport, and climbing anything that was fixed to the ground. We grew up together, by the time we were 14 we were too cool for riding bikes, but not too cool for avoiding doing homework by spending literally hours throwing our basketballs through the basketball hoop in my driveway. I could go on here for three or four paragraphs about how similar we are, but instead I am just going to borrow a song lyric from The Boss; “we liked the same music we liked the same bands we liked the same clothes”.

He is my longest, oldest, dearest friend. He stood with me at my mother’s funeral, and read a prayer for her. He attended my Pop’s funeral. He is always there when I need him, and I him. When he started dating the lady he is now about to marry, he invited me to come out to the pub with them and some of her friends so I could meet her. While she was at the bar, he took me aside and urgently asked me what I thought of her. Of course I told him I thought she was wonderful. He probably doesn’t remember this, but I will never forget it. (If you’re reading this, Peter, I still think she’s wonderful!).

Peter is always there for me, and I for him. I know that no matter where life takes us, or where we end up in the world, that if one of us ever needs the other, we will find a way to get to each other. He’s my brother.

Mark – my main man.

I met Mark in September of 2005. When we first started dating and I told him I was non-monogamous, I am sure he must have freaked out, but instead of totally losing his shit, he said “Ok, let’s see what happens”. Six months after we met, we moved in together, more out of necessity than out of any burning desire to live togther, or any feeling that it was the “right time”. Seven years on, he’s still here, and we have a home and two cats together. He brews beer and bakes bread and grows vegetables in our little plot of land. He understands me better than anyone on the planet, and tolerates my more unconventional behaviour. He is my greatest ally, and in the time I have known him, has learned so much about feminism and rape culture and intersectionality that I barely recognise him as the man I met 7 years ago.

We are similar enough that we enjoy the same music and movies and foods, but different enough that we don’t get bored. We have our little in-jokes and our pet names for each other (which I am not going to share here, because they’re ours), and we enjoy spending time together, but I have never felt like we are co-dependent. We value our time away from each other as much as we value our time together. I have never felt like he is possessive of me – he has never asked me a million questions about where I am going, who with, why, and what time I will be back. He values me as my own person, distinct from him.

Of course, I knew all this from the first time I met him, because we got to talking about Tori Amos and how much he liked her music. That is the litmus test. I have NEVER met a man who likes Tori Amos who has turned out to be a vile misogynist.

He has a huge big heart full of love, and I feel very lucky that he has chosen to share that love with me.

Emil – the unexpected surprise.

I didn’t plan to love Emil. It just happened, even though I fought it for months and months. I met him in a nightclub. I had lost all my friends somewhere in the building, and was happily dancing alone when the most beautiful man I have EVER seen came over to say hello to me. He was so beautiful that I could barely believe he was interested in me – and in some ways I still can’t. He is wealthy, and gorgeous, and European and has a very high-status job – so sometimes I definitely feel like I am batting above my average. But despite all that, he loves me. Not in the same way Mark loves me, but in his way. I am very fond of him, and he of me.

He does this adorable thing where when we’re laying in bed and talking and if I am laying on my side, he’ll lay on his side at a slightly askew angle to me and rest his head on my big soft belly and look up at me as I chat away at him while he traces outlines in my skin with his fingertips and I don’t even think he realises he’s doing it but it’s adorable and it makes me squee.

I feel sexy, and happy, and desirable and loved when he does that. It makes me feel like I am beautiful and powerful and worthy of love and admiration. When he rests his head on my body like that it feels like he is accepting me for exactly who I am and what I look like, it’s as if he is saying to me “your body is beautiful and comfortable and I am rejoicing in it and enjoying it”, and it feels like he is loving every single piece of me, exactly as I come to him.

Jason – my newest friend.

Then there is my friend Jason Coggins who I have only known for one year but who has become one of my dearest and most trusted friends. He is smarter than me in a lot of ways (many people are), but is always open to learning new things from people who know more than him. When I first met him, back in October last year, he immediately greeted me with a warm hug and a smile, and I immediately felt safe and at ease in his presence. That feeling has not changed. Jason challenges me, supports me and never makes me feel like my opinion is silly, or like I am being “hysterical” or “humourless” or “seeing problems where none exist”. I feel valued when I am around Jason, and he always listens to me. I appreciate that more than I can adequately express in this small space.

But lest he gets a big head if he reads this, I should point out that he IS English. Can’t win ‘em all!

These are the men in my life. The men who, since the day I was born right up until now, have enriched my life in many different ways and taught me things and allowed me to flourish. They have been my friends, my lovers, my protectors, and my providers. Each of them has, in his own big or small way, contributed to me becoming the person I am now. My life is infinitely better for knowing and loving these Good Men.

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart

Seventeen years ago today, my mother died. This was the song we played at her funeral.

6/8/95 YNWA

2011 – Year In Review

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Got robbed. Technically I didn’t do that, it got done to me, but it was something I’d never done before. I also studied nursing. That was pretty new too.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Yes. I resolved to not get pregnant and to love my boyfriends fiercely, and I did both those things.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Mark’s sister had a little girl in June!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not this year. We did good!

5. What countries did you visit?
Does Google Street View count?

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A job!

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
October 21st – the day Occupy Melbourne was forcibly and violently evicted from City Square. Despite the fact that I was not involved that day, aside from a short altercation with a member of the Police in the morning, I will NEVER forget how sick and worried I felt all day. I will never forget seeing my friends kettled in behind temporary fences. I will never forget coming back into town after school and seeing thousands of people being forced up Swanston Street, a line of police blocking them in. I will never forget the 12 hour bus ride I had to Sydney that night, on which I didn’t sleep a wink because I was so worried about my friends.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not getting arrested on October 21st after shouting at a police man.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I cracked a rib jumping onto Emil’s bed in Sydney. The fail part was that it happened two days after the Occupy Melbourne eviction, but didn’t happen AT the Occupy Melbourne eviction, so I couldn’t swap war stories with my comrades.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
See question nine. Who breaks a rib jumping onto a bed?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A new Wii to replace the one that was stolen in May.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mark’s. He is just a wonderful partner. He tolerates my unconventional behaviour and doesn’t try to force me to conform. He is honest and caring and supportive. He deserves to be celebrated every day!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and/or disgusted?
Robert Doyle. You made some terrible decisions and have never made any effort to meet with the people who those decisions affected.

14. Where did most of your money go?
I didn’t have any money this year. Not regularly, anyway. But every time I got a little bit of cash, I used it to go to Sydney. So….most of my money went to Qantas.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Dad’s 60th birthday in Brisbane in September. Going to Sydney to see Emil for the first time in February.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
U2 – Everlasting Love

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier, even though I didn’t think such a thing were possible. I was pretty happy last year.
ii. thinner or fatter? The same.
iii. richer or poorer? Definitely poorer. Gimme a job!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Emil? LOL. I wish I had read more books and written more of my novel.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
I wish I’d been less crazy. I think I really ratcheted up the crazy girl behaviour this year.

20. How will you/did you spend Christmas?
Christmas Eve: Present-swaps and drinks and snacks with Mark, my sister and her boyfriend.

Christmas Day: Epic hailstorm of epicness.

Boxing Day: Highpoint shopping centre sucked my will to live.

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
I did. I didn’t think I was going to, but I did, and it’s amazing.

23. How many one-night stands?
Er…two. Three?

24. What was your favorite TV program?
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I really hate the Lord Mayor.

26. What was the best book you read?
High Fidelity. It will always be the best book I have read. I love it more than any other book.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
City Calm Down.

28. What did you want and get?
A new laptop. Twice. Cause the first new one got stolen.

29. What did you want and not get?
Millions and millions of dollars.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Red Dog. Adorable!

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Just a quiet thing at home. Turned 28.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A fuckin’ job!

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Day: Lisa Loeb from the “Stay” video.
Night: Frocks and stilettos.

34. What kept you sane?
Mark. Fallout 3. Twinings Irish Breakfast tea. Pints of Coopers Pale Ale at the Quiet Man. Bruce Springsteen. Facebook. Occupy Melbourne.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Goran Visnjic. I could just lick him.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Occupy Melbourne. I went along on the first day and it sucked me in. It’s the revolution, baby!

37. Who did you miss?
Emil. More than words can say.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I just have to pick one? I met so many new people this year – I started school, got involved with Occupy Melbourne, and made MILLIONS of new friends. Amazing people, every single one of them!

39. Best drinking buddies for 2010:
Jenna, Mark, Dad and the rest of his side of the family, Sue, Emil.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Sometimes it seems that the going is just too rough
And things go wrong no matter what I do
Now and then it seems that life is just too much
But you’ve got the love I need to see me through.

– You’ve Got The Love, Florence + the Machine.

In love with this girl, and with her town as well

At 6.30 Friday morning, I swam in this pool. It’s on the rooftop of the hotel I stayed in with my Second Boyfriend. The far end of the pool is cantilevered over Flinders Lane and has a perspex bottom, so one can swim right to the end and peer down onto the street. It was quiet up there at 6.30. Dawn had broken but the sky was soft and grey, and I was on my own on the deck. Astroturf adorned the ground, deckchairs and yellow umbrellas were scattered around upon it. I could hear a few trams going up and down Swanston Street, and a few cars drove by below me, but the cranes at the building site across the road were silent, fixed. The neon sign on the KPMG building was still illuminated, and I wondered if anyone was at work yet. I swam languidly up and down as the sun slowly rose in the sky.<br /><br /><br />While it’s no secret how much I love my city, I fell in love with Melbourne all over again as I swam above her streets this morning.<br /><br /><br />And I think Melbourne might be feeling the same way.

At 6.30 Friday morning, I swam in this pool. It’s on the rooftop of the hotel I stayed in with my Second Boyfriend. The far end of the pool is cantilevered over Flinders Lane and has a perspex bottom, so one can swim right to the end and peer down onto the street. 

It was quiet up there at 6.30. Dawn had broken but the sky was soft and grey, and I was on my own on the deck. Astroturf adorned the ground, deckchairs and yellow umbrellas were scattered around upon it. I could hear a few trams going up and down Swanston Street, and a few cars drove by below me, but the cranes at the building site across the road were silent, fixed. The neon sign on the KPMG building was still illuminated, and I wondered if anyone was at work yet. I swam languidly up and down as the sun slowly rose in the sky.

While it’s no secret how much I love my city, I fell in love with Melbourne all over again as I swam above her streets this morning.

And I think Melbourne might be feeling the same way.

On Saturday, I went to an abortion rally

I’m going to let the Better Health Channel cover this part for me: Abortion is legal in Victoria. In 2008, The Abortion Law Reform Act decriminalised termination of pregnancy and set out guidelines for when abortion can take place. Any woman of any age can attend an abortion clinic in Victoria and access abortion until she is 24 weeks pregnant. Abortion after 24 weeks is legal, but isn’t commonly performed. Two doctors must agree the termination is appropriate, considering the woman’s relevant medical circumstances and her current and future physical, psychological and social circumstances.

Under Victorian law, a health practitioner who has a conscientious objection to providing abortion information must refer any woman seeking information about abortion services to another doctor who doesn’t object. Doctors and nurses must perform an abortion in emergency situations where it’s necessary to preserve the life of the pregnant woman, even if they object to abortion in general.

On Saturday the Right to Life group had their annual March For The Babies. The Right to Lifers are mad that women are allowed to have abortions if they want one, and every year a bunch of angry white men (because they are always white men) trot out their clergy, their kids, their rosary beads and their pictures and statues of poor old Jesus and Mary to make their point.

SO. There was a counter-rally organised. We were a small group, but we were present. A small area of the steps at Parliament House had been cordoned off for us, and we stood their with our banners and our placards and our speakers and megaphones, took a small walk around the city and then returnted to our post where we waited for the Right To Lifers to come up Bourke St. We were told, by the leaders of our group, repeatedly, not to engage with the Right to Lifers. Not to yell back if they yell at us, not to let them get under our skin. We were told to remain in our area and not cross over into theirs. Pretty simple, right?

The Right to Life group made it’s way up Bourke St at around 3pm, and there were THOUSANDS of them. There was maybe, at a stretch, about 50 of us, but probably fewer. We were a very small group, though when we took our little march through the city, and while we were standing at Parliament House, we got lots of support in the form of applause and horn toots from passers by. This, I think, is testament to the fact that most Victorians now believe that the battle has been won – that because abortion has been decriminalised and made freely available, that there’s nothing to defend. Unfortunately, this is not true – just because a right has been won, doesn’t mean you don’t still need to stand up to protect it.

Anyway. The Right To Lifers arrived, and they were scary. They filled up Spring St, and spilled over into our area. Several of them made Nazi salutes at us, one lady stepped right into our small space and threw salt on me and a few other people. They came right up onto the kerb and shouted in our faces. The police had to get between us and the Right to Lifers – protecting us “Nazi baby killers” from the “love thy neighbour Christians.” I found it really confronting. I felt sad for all the kids there who were brought along by their parents, to serve their parents’ agenda. None of the people in our group had their children there, and I felt like it was a really inappropriate thing to bring your kids to.

I really felt like, had the police not been there, or been reluctant to protect us, that the Right to Lifers would have been quite happy to use violence to make their point. It was an appalling display of pseudo-dominance from a group of desperate people. It was kind of like, when you’re watching the footy and Collingwood are losing, and they start getting a bit elbowy or a bit fisty, in order to get the opposition out of the way, to intimidate them. That’s what it was like. It was like they knew they were a minority (despite being the bigger group on the day) so they had to start using pushyness and violence to try to change our minds. We weren’t there to change any minds. We were there to be present, and to show the people of Melbourne that this sort of anti-choice nonsense will not go unchecked.

The man in the centre of this photo, with his arms outstretched, was a particularly repugnant creature and I wanted to smack him right in his smug face. This guy reminded me of Rickety Cricket, from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

In the end, it was a good day. It was confronting being Nazi saluted at, though that wasn’t a big shock for me, as I used to work at a theater and while we were showing The Producers, we used to greet each other with Nazi salutes, it was very tongue in cheek. But having someone throw salt at me was VERY confronting. That made me feel sad, and angry, and dehumanised. It made me feel like the lady who threw it at me didn’t think of me as a person in my own right, with my own sense of agency. I laughed, at the time, but looking back on it, I just feel angrier and sadder. She just saw me as a demon baby killer, despite knowning nothing about me at all.

I didn’t go out on Saturday to tangle with anti-choicers. I went out on Saturday to be present with a small group who represent most of Victoria, to remind a large group who only represent themselves that they will ALWAYS have us on their back. That they will not succeed in undoing the rights we have come so far to achieve.

A lady from Radical Women gave me a coathanger to wave around just before Right to Lifers arrived, and I present, complete with a bad taste joke, the photo of me holding the coathanger at Parliament Station:

Image hotlink - 'https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s720x720/312772_10150844762820058_511650057_20696059_1570751273_n.jpg'

I went to the pro-abortion rights rally, and all I got was this stupid coathanger!! (LOLOLOLOLOL)

Lastly, you can see some great photos of the day here, from Kenji Wardenclyffe at Wardenclyffe Photography. He always takes kickass shots of civil actions. Hopefully the link works – it’s to a Facebook Page, not a profile, so there shouldn’t be any privacy issues.

____

And on an unrelated note, I posted something on Facebook in response to a link posted on the SlutWalk Melbourne page, and Helen Razer liked it! THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

Quiz-like thing

1. Picture of yourself?

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?
Non-monogamous – Polyandrous. That means “many men”.

3. Have you ever been dumped?
No. I have always been the dumper.

4. What do you most like about making out?
Oh, I love it. It’s *awesome*.

5. Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?
Yes.

6. When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?
Yes.

7. What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?
Depends on the person. I like a lower belly area on a boy with a nice figure. I like hands and shoulders too.

8. Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?
Mark, bless him.

9. Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?
Yes.

11. Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?
Yes.

12. What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?
Retro homewares, and owl ornaments.

13. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?
Oh god no.

14. Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?
No.

15. Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?
I tell the person I have a crush on. And probably a few of my friends.

16. Do you miss your last sweetie?
No. I definitely traded up when I dumped him.

17. Last time you slow danced with someone?
Can’t remember when but it was definitely with one of the boys, probably to a Bruce Springsteen song.

18. Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?
What?

19. How can I win your heart?
By going down on me.

20. What is your astrological sign?
Libra.

21. What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
Tossing and turning in bed. I slept in the early evening and so that kind of screwed up the rest.

22. Do you cook?
Yes. It’s very enjoyable.

23. Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?
No. I did once have a fling with a boy I’d made friends with when I was 12, after not having seen him for 14 years.

24. If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?
No. I am happy with the way things are right now.

25. Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?
I prefer long term non-monogamy.

26. What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?
Soft skin, dark hair, tall, skinny, pretty. PRETTY!

27. Name four things that you wish you had:
Money.
A job.
Flat shoes.
Money.

28. Are you a player?
Possibly.

29. Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?
Yes. Should I admit here that I’ve also had sex with two people in one day?

30. Are you a tease?
No.

31. Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?
No.

32. Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?
Yes. It’s beautiful.

33. Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?
Is Hugh Jackman on Tumblr?

34. Hugs or Kisses?
Only from the people I am dating.

35. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
No.

36. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Height, prettiness level.

37. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?
Yes. But only when it’s one of my boyfriends.

38. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?
Only if their relationship was an open one. Hello ethics!

39. Do you flirt a lot?
Yes. I flirt with everyone.

40. Your last kiss?
Sometime today.

41. Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2011?
I have kissed exactly 5.

42. Have you kissed anyone in the past month?
Yes.

43. If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
One of my boyfriends, or Hugh Jackman. YUM.

44. Do you know who you’ll kiss next?
Yes.

45. Does someone like you currently?
Oh yes.

46. Do you currently have feelings for anyone?
Yes. More feelings than my heart can stand!

47. Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
Both. Preferably at the same time.

48. Ever made out with just a friend?
Yes.

49. Are you happier single or in a relationship?
Yes to both.